How Is Your Fetish, BDSM Fantasy Best Expressed?
I first started in the adult industry as a model, but it wasn’t long before I began offering live sessions as well. With well over a decade of experience playing in front of the camera with fellow performers and off-camera with both clients and personal partners, I can say with confidence that there’s a difference between what makes a good fetish porn clip and what makes a good live session.
While I’m able to remotely show off my understanding of what makes a good clip, it can be difficult to express my live session skills through a digital medium. After all, a clip preview is, itself, a clip, but a bunch of text and some pictures are not a session. I’m going to try to get into it here anyway, because I think it’s worth discussing. After all, more and more professional Mistresses, submissives, and switches (like Yours Truly!) are offering both live sessions and custom clips. And I’m in favor of anything that gets people thinking about their sexuality, their kinks, and how to best explore them.
If you’re a horny, kinky guy or sissy (and I hope that you are!), here are some points to consider when trying to decide which type of interaction will be the most gratifying to you. A live session requires more commitment, but can result in quite an adrennaline rush. A custom video can be easier to arrange, but may not deliver the same endorphins. A webcam show falls somewhere in the middle, offering greater convenience and a degree of connection, but still keeping the involved parties in their own little world.
While there are a number of logistical concerns, I’m not really going to discuss them further here. Common sense should be a sufficient enough guide in that sense. My true goal here is to get you to do a little soul searching about what you want, what you need, and what you’re willing to do to get those things.
Entertainment vs. Fulfillment
The aim of my clips is to entertain, while in a session, my aim is to fulfill. While watching a documentary on rock climbing might be very entertaining, going out and actually doing it will be more fulfilling. This isn’t a perfect analogy, but whatever, you get it.
My clips tend to be full of drama, jokes, and intensity. In a live session, the success of these things is heavily dependent upon your participation. For example, it takes two people to have smoldering eye contact. (Unless, of course, you’re staring at my tits, which is a great motivation towards a spanking, bondage, sissification, or diapering!) I can fake eye contact on camera, but looking into pixels on a screen simply isn’t the same as looking into my eyes. The energy only goes one way at best.
A simulated back-and-forth in a clip only requires that the camera sit there silently while you-the-viewer fills in the blanks or simply lets the fantasy wash over them. Sitting and staring at me while I’m talking to you in a session, on the other hand, is awkward as hell. Are you the type of person who enjoys actively connecting with a play partner or are you content to be passively entertained?
It takes two to establish a connection and it takes commitment and vulnerability to make it work. Of course, just watching a screen doesn’t require either of those things. Depending on your personality type, that might be appealing, or you might find the thrill of opening up to me to be much more satisfying. Do you enjoy letting your guard down in a curated environment? Or do you like to keep your distance? There’s no wrong answer to these questions; only the answer that’s right for you.
Physical Sensation
Whether it’s gentle brushing with a feather, tight and inescapable rope bondage, or the shock of ice stuffed down your panties, physical sensations like touch can, of course, only be experienced in a live session. I bring it up from time to time in my clips, but of course those “sensations” are only being experienced through my verbal descriptions or by your own stimulation if you play along. I might also talk you through a physical sensation in session, but a lot more time is spent allowing you to focus on it, allowing it to overwhelm you.
If you prefer to be visually stimulated exclusively, a clip will leave you feeling more satisfied. However, if you tend to be more tactile, a real session including real touch will give you what a clip can only hint at. (Of course I try to look my best in sessions, as well as in my clips.) Do you enjoy experiencing physical sensations that are not completely–or at all–in your control? Does physicality enhance the visual splendor you’re experiencing or distract from it?
Interacting with Penny Barber
Naturally, there’s a performative element to a live session–just like there is in any social interaction. However, I’d say that, even though I pride myself on allowing my personality to come through in my clips, there’s a difference between witnessing my persona and interacting with my personality.
I can’t edit a live session. I can’t rehearse my lines or re-deliver them. In a clip, I’m imagining or controlling all of “your” (i.e. the camera’s) responses. If I say you’re blushing, then you are. If I say that you wet your diaper, then you do. If I say that you accidentally call me “Mommy”, that’s the way it is, at least for the purposes of the clip. Bouncing off of your actual reactions is a different skill entirely. It’s also an entirely different, interactive experience for you.
Duration
Most of my clips are ten to twenty minutes long. Most of my sessions are one to two hours long. If you’ve never tried to stretch a ten-minute presentation into a two-hour meeting, well, I envy you, because it’s tricky. Does your fantasy involve an act that gets better with time, like spanking or predicament bondage? Or is it focused on one, quick action like a diaper change or being given a wedgie? While this may not be the first thing that you think of when working out your desires, I think it’s one of the most important considerations.
If you’re mostly interested in one, short act, you’ll need to think of other things you might enjoy to fill up the rest of that time so that things don’t get awkward. My minimum booking time is one hour. Even the most languorous diaper change won’t take more than fifteen minutes. What do you want to do for the remaining forty-five minutes? Because unless you’re into needle play, heavy impact play, hardcore financial domination, ignore fetish, or letting me photograph and video you however I want…let’s just say that you might want to have some input while you still can.
Type of Play
What I like to do in session doesn’t always line up with what I like to shoot in my clips. For one thing, my limits are different. (I am considering changing these, along with doubling my rate, but for now, my rates reflect my focus on BDSM over other forms of intimacy.) Also, when filming, I have to consider what’s going to sell to a larger audience and not just what I’m into at the moment.
For example, sissy training clips just didn’t sell for me and I love sissy training. Like, a lot. Soooo much. And there is a market, but it isn’t as large as, say, taboo or even ABDL–not for me, anyway. When I film sissification now, because sometimes I just can’t help myself, it’s usually mixed in with one of those other scenarios.
Bondage doesn’t sell well for me either, even though I’m a decent rigger and have learned from and been tied by a number of celebrity riggers from Chanta Rose to Lew Rubens. Also, bondage porn isn’t usually just about bondage. The process of tying is often truncated or completely omitted.
I personally really enjoy the sensuality of the rigging process, the smell and texture of the rope as well as the gentle ministrations make for a beautiful experience. Unfortunately, these things don’t always resonate in clips. Hence, bondage clips often feature other sorts of play to keep you-the-viewer from getting bored while looking at the pretty bondage, like a B plot in a TV show.
Spanking is another favorite of mine that I feature from time to time in my clips, but play around with often in my personal life. Spanking was experiencing a surge in popularity when I first started appearing in adult media, but that has since abated. There’s a theatricality to spanking that I feel translates well to the screen, along with lots of fun, pervy scenarios and a focus on clothing that speaks to the fetishist in me. However, until it makes a comeback, I mostly get to experience it in session. God I love spanking. If you’re into spanking, either as a top or a bottom–or as a switch–you should definitely drop me a line.
Come Play With Me
If you’re a new player, I hope that this collection of my rambling thoughts has helped you either come to a decision about what you want or at least got you thinking about it in a way that can allow you to finally live out your fantasies, either in real life or by spoiling yourself with that perfect video. If, on the other hand, this is old hat, maybe it’s framed the whole experience in a way that will help you better communicate your needs and desires and more deeply connect with your play partner–hopefully me.
Anyway, I’m always excited to hear from a new potential playmate. Or, if you’d rather curl up with a bottle of lube and make me your virtual girlfriend, please let my friendly assistant know what you had in mind for a custom order so that he can get you a quote ASAP. His address is mr.samsolo@gmail.com. Either way, I hope that you’re living your best, most satisfying kink life, whatever that means to you.
XOXO,
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